Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
