would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
