no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
