Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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