We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
