the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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