it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
