Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize