We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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