Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
