idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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