It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
