The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
