Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
