Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
