Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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