I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
FUCK WHALES
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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