If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
