I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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