I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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