I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
