Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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