your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We are all done wearing pants today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
