He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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