"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
