I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is my gift to your gina
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize