Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.

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  (954): the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex. http://tfl.nu/73o1
  Replies (24) Good night (775) Bad night (1436)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me

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  (913): My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me http://tfl.nu/wgqk
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (842)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach

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  (813): he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach http://tfl.nu/e6go
  Replies (25) Good night (3069) Bad night (2829)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3498) Bad night (1380)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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  (917): had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary. http://tfl.nu/06cp
  Replies (6) Good night (3884) Bad night (901)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me

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  (404): haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me http://tfl.nu/9ei1
  Replies (2) Good night (2209) Bad night (996)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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  (916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm
  Replies (9) Good night (2012) Bad night (762)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day

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  (774): Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day http://tfl.nu/bsus
  Replies (4) Good night (1515) Bad night (804)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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  (902): This is why Helen Keller didn't drink http://tfl.nu/wpjw
  Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (563)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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  (405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (340)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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  (309): I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to. http://tfl.nu/ueue
  Replies (10) Good night (754) Bad night (562)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.

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  (330): I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again. http://tfl.nu/tjdc
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.

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  (971): I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad. http://tfl.nu/wd71
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (331)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?

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  (505): Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel? http://tfl.nu/w9sg
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.

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  (323): I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage. http://tfl.nu/vubj
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (308)

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