Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

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(321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/c1w6

Replies (139) Good night (44452) Bad night (9602)
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(440): View more from Ohio

so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

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(440): so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport" http://tfl.nu/at20

Replies (10) Good night (3164) Bad night (636)
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(571): View more from Virginia

So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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(571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets

Replies (277) Good night (4428) Bad night (68872)
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(989): View more from Michigan

i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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(989): i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow http://tfl.nu/zmy7

Replies (11) Good night (2063) Bad night (769)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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(740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5

Replies (39) Good night (8171) Bad night (757)
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(805): View more from California

i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila

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(805): i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila http://tfl.nu/c3w5

Replies (17) Good night (3750) Bad night (1254)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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(201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek

Replies (20) Good night (3097) Bad night (946)
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(789): View more from

You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

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(789): You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down http://tfl.nu/6vfu

Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (769)
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(614): View more from Ohio

If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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(614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn

Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (875)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.

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(208): Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options. http://tfl.nu/ep0w

Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (485)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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(828): remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch. (1-828): ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so. http://tfl.nu/n0v1

Replies (8) Good night (1880) Bad night (545)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.

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(931): Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass. http://tfl.nu/ezy8

Replies (10) Good night (1414) Bad night (459)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.

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(781): We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/atoq

Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (309)
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(909): View more from California

I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"

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(909): I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!" http://tfl.nu/ixne

Replies (6) Good night (1009) Bad night (244)
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(251): View more from Alabama

well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras

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(251): well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras http://tfl.nu/4zxu

Replies (1) Good night (208) Bad night (234)

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