Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.