shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it