Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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