I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
