Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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