oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ttyl tear gas
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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