Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
