remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
