I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
