Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
