i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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