This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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