Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
