ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
