I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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