you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
