Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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