Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize