I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize