Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
