At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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