Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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