You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
