the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
