his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
