oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
