by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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