You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
