Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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