Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
