I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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