i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
