im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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