Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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