i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
