sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
