I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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