If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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