why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
