brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
