Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
