The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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