it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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