There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
