I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
